This perspective changed my life and it can change yours too

In the last few weeks, I was working with a client let’s call him Dan.

He recently went through an important test that would affect his future trajectory (depending on the results).

This made him stressed. So I walked him through some thought experiments that I thought might help.

“Let’s play it out,” I said.

Let’s consider two paths

You never achieve the material success you want- in his case, it was being a doctor, but you get to be proud of yourself knowing that you did the best of your ability- become the person you knew you could be.

The other option.

You achieve the material success- become a doctor, but you’re left with a hole inside of you knowing that you could have done more.

Which one would you choose?

He chose the first option.

But, then why was he so worried?

As humans, we tend to focus on outward achievement, as opposed to inward achievement.

I can attest to this.

Below is a graph of my motivation levels during high school.

Always flowing, never steady.

It would be a continuous cycle of:

Test → Fear of failure → Study → Finish Test → Lose Drive.

This often came as a result of a few reasons:

• Society tends to raise us in a way that thinks this way

• Achievement is something that others can see — So there is a status component to it.

• Fear of failing in front of others

But, this approach to life can be detrimental- Especially if we want to be driven to succeed in the long run.

This became painfully apparent to me during COVID- When I turned my life around.

I realized that to change who I was I had to change how I saw things.

And here’s why…

Often we aren’t motivated because of two reasons.

• The reasons why we do things aren’t good enough.

• We don’t set goals that are in our control.

The solution to this?

Focus on setting goals that you can control and have an internal reason to back them up -also known as a competing interest. You’ll see that as you do this you’ll feel more driven to achieve the success you want.

• Instead of selling getting an A, make it studying for 2 hours using [XYZ] techniques

• Instead of getting a sixpack, make it going to the gym today

• Instead of making 10k a month, make it promoting your business for 4 hours

These goals form the building blocks that contribute to that greater why.

As for the second part, set your internal reasons and don’t fall prey to societal desires. Make sure that your reasons give you enough of a want to override the struggles of the journey ahead- hence why it’s also called a competing interest.

This is easier said than done, but here are a few things that helped shift my perspective.

• Reframe the work as it working on you, not you working on it- You become a better person as a result.

• Set goals based on inputs, not outputs- things you can control.

• Surround yourself with others who have an internal drive — not an external one (fortunately with the internet you can change your environment with the click of a button).

By doing this you’ll develop the desire that’s needed to pay the price that a better life requires and you’ll focus on what truly matters (things within your control).

This is one of the greatest hacks for developing drive. It changed my life and I think it can change your’s too.

So, try it!